Dear Ink Slinger:
I read your weekend commercial post on the Olympics and could not stop laughing, to the point of almost peeing in my pants. Speaking of which (peeing in my pants, that is), please consider this my official entry into The Bladder Buster competition. I’m confident that I’m a serious medal contender in the hunt for the Gold!
I used to find it rude when I requested a break in a deposition to use the restroom and counsel responded with, “Can it wait?” Or, “Just a few more questions and we’ll break,” which typically lead to another half hour of questions! I’m an adult. I AM AN ADULT! So why, then, as an adult, must I ask permission? Well, I have stopped asking permission. I now say, “Counsel, I need to take a break right now; thank you.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. There’s a reason for that, a big reason, a 7 pound, 8 ounce reason.
Weeks away from my due date with my second child seven years ago, I began to feel extreme discomfort in the middle of a deposition. As most humans know, pregnant women pee a lot because there’s a fetus sitting on, kicking, and punching their bladder. The urgency, at times, leaves no room for error. So I politely called for a break and counsel asked me to wait. Back then, I was intimidated by attorneys so I kept quiet. But my discomfort grew, so a few minutes later I softly whispered to counsel a little reminder. He was reading a document and didn’t even glance up as he whispered back in a harsh tone, “In a second.” A few seconds later it was too late, my water broke.
Do I hear the Star Spangled Banner playing in my honor?
To Pee or Not To Pee
Well, you definitely just moved from the prelims to the finals, setting a new world record in the process. I guess it all depends what the rest of the field will offer up.
-The Ink Slinger