Sneak Preview!

Recently I heard a dumb-ass refer to court reporters as commodities.  That really burned me up.  I am a reporter.  The idiot who made that statement alleges he used to be one [a court reporter], but it looks like he forgot.  Old age can do that to a guy.  Me, no matter what position I’ve ever held — owner, manager, whatever — I never gave up reporting.  It’s a respect thing.  I manage reporters (sort of!) and I want them to respect me.  How to achieve that mutual respect thing?  Never ask someone to do something you’re not capable of!  Those who do do.  Those who can’t do really weird shit to the people they’re envious of.

So I’m building a website dedicated to court reporters and clients and it’s all about fairness to reporters and clients.  Later today, it will debut.  For now, I thought it would be fun to do a little show and tell.  If you’re a reporter, you’ll get it.  If you’re an attorney who uses the services of court reporters and you’re smart, you’ll get it.

Every page has a little “ism.”

My first “ism” is localism, a favorite of mine.  We’ve got a problem in our industry:  Visitors in markets where they don’t belong.  In the Midwest, it’s akin to the pesky Asian Carp that’s eating all the indigenous fish in the Great Lakes.  Pesky Carp = Ruining The Local Ecosystem!  I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t understand the widespread ramifications, but I do now and it now allows me to speak from experience.  [Future blog that'll be super fun!]

Regionally, we do things differently.  Lawyers have local rules and customs, and so do court reporters.  Our page requirements are different, our signature requirements are different, and some of us don’t have “stipulations.”  In the Midwest we say, “Dep.”  If you’re saying “Depo,” we know you ain’t from these parts, so giddyup and head West where you belong!  We don’t say nontranscript!  It’s called a no-write.  Che Cosa La Scopata?  [Read that blog and you'll get it!  http://krusereportersblog.com/2011/10/31/che-cosa-la-scopata/]  And so it got a bunch of us thinking. . .  If you’re ordering a pizza for delivery, why would you call New York, California, Florida or DC?   It stands to reason then, if you’re ordering a court reporter or a transcript, why would you call an  out-of-state firm?  If you want your pizza hot and on time and made Chicago-style, that is, correctly, dial your local pizza parlor.  And if you want the best local reporter and your transcript hot off the press, you should be calling an independent reporting agency in your area!

Salespeople-ism.  Maybe that one should be an “itis.”  Court reporters know their medical suffixes, so that’s for you guys!  Do ya get resentful if you’re always picking up after your boyfriend while he’s out partying with the guys on your nickel?  Well, that’s how court reporters feel about salespeople.  We work our asses off and they’re making moolah off our hard labor.  Really?  Who let them in?  And do the clients know that if they’re using a salesman to get a court reporter that they’re paying a middleman fee, which is why the rates went up in the first place?  The sales force is responsible for your rate increase, not the court reporters.  Court reporters haven’t seen a rate increase in about six years!  Seriously people, you can ask for a court reporter to work for you who doesn’t have a monkey on her back. . .that you pay for!  I have some really hilarious salespeople stories, but I’ll save that for a future blog.  Hilarious.

Quality-ism.  A long time ago, we had regional court reporting agencies that were considered specialists.  Some were plaintiff’s shops.  Some were IP shops.  There were some insurance defense shops.  Then the gobbling occurred about 15 years ago, when vulture capitalists started running around and buying court reporting agencies and talented reporters are leaving because the business model doesn’t work.  Today, corporate shops are devoid of in-house court reporters, reporters who know the history, like when bluebacks disappeared, or when the three-hour rule came into effect and why (in Illinois), or why we use Direct Examination in Federal deposition transcripts, or why we don’t certify questions anymore and when the heck did that one stop because attorneys are still sayin’ it.  Staff reporters teach the younger ones how to swear in in an interpreter situation, teach about new gadgets and ways to make transcripts faster and cleaner.  Some of us are known as repositories for esoteric information, and we have a lot to share with the younger reporters.  Chase us away and what do you have?

The operative word in court reporting agency is?  Yes, court reporting.  It’s not a salespeople agency or a pencil pusher agency or a CEO agency.  If it were, you all would never see a damn transcript.  The only reason the layers of nonessential staff like salespeople and COOs are there is because they are opportunists.

Corporate Greed-ism.  National firms are on the scene hitting the clients with add-on fees where ya’ll can’t see ‘em.  Ask a smart reporter and she’ll tell you where you’re being hit, and I’ll be glad to tell you in my next blog.  And that extra money is for investors and sales forces who do nothing to add value.  Odd thing is, every few years one of them keeps filing for bankruptcy protection so they can slough off the debt, screw vendors, reorganize and get back in the game.  Proof positive there’s not enough margin in our business unless the clients are gouged.

Yep, corporate greed is alive and well in America and that same greed is no stranger to the court reporting industry.  Occupy Wall Street?  Nah.  Wrong zip code.  Reporters just want to occupy their own street in their own town.

At the end of the day, when all’s said and done, when the fat lady sings. . . .PIGS GET FAT AND HOGS GET SLAUGHTERED!!!  To the hogs who are trying to squeeze every nickel out of our industry, I just want to say one thing:  BACON!

How about you, Miss/Mr./Madam Reporter?  Got any national greed rants ya wanna share?